She used to be the girl that cared way too much. Gave too much on the opinions of others. What will they think if she does that, how will they react if she does this. Well, my friends, not anymore. It wasn’t planned, it wasn’t even intended, it just happened. One day, she just stopped adjusting her steps the way they’ll fit paths of others. She considers them, but they don’t define her own.
Fo a long time, she was afraid of her own emotions. She was putting them down when they didn’t comply with the expectations. But you know what? They are valid, no matter what she is supposed to feel in said situation. Same goes for actions. To her, it almost feels like switching the emotional side off, only she’s being more sensuous than ever. Feels weird, like whole world is heightened. Ever since she decided to stay on the hard ground and not in live in the clouds, she can see surroundings in much different light. In their true colours, almost.
Truthfully, this already saved her many times. It’s not that she expects the disappointment, she just knows it’s not always the happy ending she used to hope for. Sometimes it gets depressing, this big emptiness inside of her, where the false hopes and dreams used to lay. Funny thing is, she would choose this empty feeling over falling off a cloud of crushed dreams any day. It’s not playing safe, it’s accepting the reality.
♥
*Story About a Girl is a collection of random midnight scribbles about life, written when brain just can’t shut down. Inspired by my own life and thoughts, telling a story through a third person.
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