Growing up can be a funny thing. Slowly approaching my 24th, it made me think about how much things have turned around. In 2014 I promised myself to start putting myself first. Making myself happy before I try to do that for somebody else. Learning about myself, being okay with what I am, how I am and what I want. Living life to the fullest and all that cheesy lines. And here I am.
I learned a lot about myself. I became braver. More open to stuff. More vulnerable. Not gained much patience. Being okay with hurting occasionally. I’m still socially awkward and anxious. But I also take more risks. I speak my mind. I try being okay with how I look. I’m still conscious about certain body parts. I still blush when someone compliments me. But I can talk to the waitress without choking. I can admit when being wrong.
I discovered the hidden pleasure of working out. I still eat chocolate every day. I can go on a date and talk about my feelings. I have many bad days. I can recover from a broken heart and trust boys again. I learned not to over-force things and let them play out naturally. I can make a fool of myself and not die from embarrassment. I still can’t sing in public. I know what I want to do. I try to be more zen, but I am not afraid to bite some heads off. I still haven’t finished college. But I became the best version of myself I can possibly be right now. Some days are horrible, but some are amazing.
I say YOLO as the biggest cliché, but what it really means for me, is that I need to not over-think or over-dream, but just live. YOLO as in go for it. YOLO as in no regrets, just adventures and life lessons. YOLO as in “you might cry later, but right now you really should go for it“.
I realized the darkness comes gratis with the happy times. You can’t fully appreciate the best moments, if life doesn’t serve you few lemons first. You need to be okay with being sad, before you can be your happiest. You need to learn not to let life run you over. The hardest life lesson is to realize that you can’t do much more than just run with it. Embracing sadness for the time being, appreciating and learning from it. Living for the happy moments, making them the high points of life. It’s all about balance, really.
Life is a funny thing. But funny is good. It makes you laugh and laughter means happiness. And being happy is the ultimate #goal after all, don’t you agree?
♥
