A girl who is used to being on her own probably doesn’t need you. But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t want you. Just because she can walk the road alone, doesn’t mean she wouldn’t enjoy your company.
See, the truth about being on your own is that after a while, being on your own becomes your safe space. There’s a reliability in answering to only yourself, to only worrying about yourself. And though at times it can be lonely, it’s a softer lonely. It’s a loneliness that eventually becomes familiar and almost beautiful.
So when someone else comes in, and shakes up that world and that loneliness, it’s jarring.
And so, for a while, there’s going to be some adjustment. There’s going to be some ebb and flow, some give and take. There’s going to be some fear on her end. Not only because she’ll be tentative to let you into her world, to let you scale those walls, to invite you into a life that previously only hers.
But there will also be the fear that if she does let you in, does trust you, that she’ll stop being comfortable on her own, and start to only be comfortable with you.
And the intrinsic fear of getting comfortable with another person is, “What do I do if they leave?” When you love a girl who is used to being on her own, you’re loving a girl who is scared by the possibility of ever having to relearn how to do that. You’re saying, “Please let me in,” while she’s saying, “Please don’t go.” There’s an ease to being on your own once you get used to it, but the getting used to it part is often times an uphill battle, an incredibly difficult journey, and she really dreads the possibility of having to do it again.
So when you love a girl who has been used to being on her own, please be prepared to stay. Be ready to hold her hand when she says, “I can do it,” and respond with, “But I can help.” Be ready to learn about her life, her world, and find a way to respect it while still being a part of it. Be ready to scale the walls she’s built around her heart, and be ready to never worry about what’s going on outside of them. Because when you do, when you really do, she’ll be ready to never let you go.