Last time I wrote to you about love, I was admittedly in much darker place. Heck, sometimes I think that’s all there is to love: darkness. But every now and again, a ray of sunshine lights in. Sometimes, love has to come from the inside yourself first. In order to change the outcome, I had to start there. World has us believing we won’t be happy without a partner, but it’s not true. You have to enjoy your own company before someone can enjoy it as well. And I am good on my own.
This goes hand in hand with the first one, really. I started listening. To my body, to my mind, to my heart. What I learned over the years is that not everyone will like you or approve everything that you do. But what I finally realised this year is, that that’s perfectly okay. There is no need to defend your actions to anyone but yourself. That also goes for admitting failure, fear or excitement. The emotions are valid, no matter what is socially acceptable to feel in said situation. It feels liberating. I feel like I finally learned something very useful from my school and life experiences. I learned to breathe with society, without it swallowing me. I learned to accept it as it is, question its existence without judging it, but still bend it to my needs.
I also stopped myself from over-fantasising. It’s weird staying on the hard ground, to be honest. Real world becomes much more intense that way.
About the pleasure of working out.
God, it really makes a difference! I am such a happier person after a good sweat session. The trick is, you need to decide, this is something you want. You need to make this switch in your head, it doesn’t happen on its own.
Don’t know exactly when and how, but I think I grew up. Not too much though, but just enough. And don’t know when, but I think I got to my good place. Happy place. Content with myself place. It feels weird and amazing at the same time. Even though, the number is getting higher and higher, I am getting happier and happier with my life. So cheers to being 24 and kicking ass! ♥